Dear blog~ Hmm... what to tell you, today I'm not really in a good mood at all. Actually dunnoe whats wrong. Guess I feel lonely today. Was playing audi for a moment. And it's been 12days since I last spoke to Fan and ignored his last sms. I packed all of the stuff I got from him into a package and it's ready to be send back to England. Well... I also talked to Ryan the past 2 days, not that it gives me anything really. He has no intentions to be anything with me so. Hmm... Nothing to write really, too uneventfull and boring.

Dear blog~~~ I've been doing well lately. Parents still gone, so I spent my weekend mostly going out with the dog, cleaning up, shopping and watching anime and korean dramas. All in all I guess I have a regular life. Working and going out with my colleagues, from time to time seeying my friends and attending to household. It's nothing special tho. But it's peacefull. I'm peacefull. A bit boring yes, but at least no bad excitement. Speaking of cleaning... I should clean up geez... but I'm so lazy sigh. Tired or over eaten... I've gained weight zzz ._.' healthy for me yes, but ... but.... now I have nothing to brag about really duh sigh. Oh well I guess I go get a coffee maybe and do some cleaning up . Saranghae Bbye~

Also...there was something else I wanted to talk about. Hmm recently I realised Ryan has a new girlfriend. I never talked to him anymore since he started comming back to MSN like 2-3 weeks ago. And he also never wrote. Recently the statuses are getting really obvious. I also know that my second real life boyfriend has a girlfriend for over a year. It's funny watching my past lovers getting in new relationships. I was very bitter over my 2nd real life ex, but I'm really happy for Ryan. Althrough maybe a bit sad too, since I'm all alone. But I guess I'm slowly ok with being alone. I slowly wish to stay alone. Maybe just cause I'm still too scared to be hurt again heh... sad I know. But this scar was really a deep one. I guess it all ended. Everything ended the moment I kissed another guy and told myself that this is the end and gave up. Now there are only things left like changing this blog's adress. There isn't anybody close enough to me who deserves to know this much intimate knowledge about me. Guess will change it before the next time I decide to blog something. I should prolly delete Amy and Chung from Facebook too. And still need to go post to send some things away from my room. Like they say disappear from eyes disappear from the heart too. I don't need anybody who doesn't need me. I don't need anybody who doesn't need me. I repeat this sentence in my mind over and over again if I get weak for a moment. It always makes me sane again. I'm glad for this life that was given to me. Hardships and betrayal taught me more valuable lessons in life than school ever could. Well guess I go do something else now o.o'

Bbye blog~