Good morning blog~ I overslept and also all in all didn't sleep that much x_x actually I did sleep an significant amount of 7hours since I overslept till 8am. But eh... I feel kind of bad... like, down. ._.' Ah maybe I overdid it last night. It's like I say he doesn't matter to me anymore and bang, next day I feel bad cause of him. It's unhealthy to think like this... to keep swinging between sides. Mornings are the worst, after I wake up with this kind of feeling. = I wonder if I'm honest with myself with everything I say. If that's really how I feel or if it's just some sort of protecting mechanism, trying to convince myself that I don't feel so attached anymore when I really do. Nah I don't really like before anymore, two weeks of crying and depressions... I decided to get up again and start all over. But I don't identify myself with this life I'm leading now yet. I do really enjoy watching those anime and meeting with friends more often... but it hasn't been like this for more than a week. So... I'm having my troubles here and I'm probably random rambling stuff that doesn't even make sense but... that's how my mind goes.

Had to detach in a way, cause with that attitude of his = Always gone when I needed him... that includes weekends and evenings especially. Hmm... It wasn't a lie that I almost forgot his face, but the overall picture remains and plays tricks on me. -_-" I'm such a perv...I won't even write in what roles that overall picture plays role lol... *ashamed* Lol well I'm sure I could revive more memories of his face if I was willing to at least look at one of his pictures, but I'm quite scared lol. That's like the last step of knowing that u have broken up and detached and got over that person. When you look at them and you feel nothing. But before that it's painfull once more. And I'm scared of that.

Also who is he trying to fool... = He was talking big about wanting to stay friends like before, but then when I asked him how he imagined this going on he said that we're gonna talk less and less. He's not emailing, smsing, calling or webcamming so yea... it sure looks like how we communicated before = I will also stop...

K well I go read my magazine

Bye~