Yesterday I had a trip down to Audition Eu Land. Played a few games with Infinity, found out I didn't become too much of a noob either and since then I kinda have to think about Danh and Ryan. Especially Danh came to my mind yesterday. Now that I think about it, he's been sort of my first boyfriend actually. Not just a one sided one I mean and we were together twice. He betrayed me with another woman, I dated Thai and Tomi, then when I broke up with both, I stole Danh back from the other girl. Then I betrayed him with Seong as far as I remember. Still he stayed there for me. And when I had troubles with my other relationships, when Ryan was making me sad, he was staying all nights long up until his early mornings for when I woke up, before he went to sleep. He stayed awake until I woke up again and bid him good night. I got so spoiled since then. The relationship I had with Danh was really effortless, it ran on its own without any sacrifices. I regret that I refused to meet him, back then I was a child and too scared. He wanted to fly over so many many times. He wanted me to fly over. When things between me and Ryan got alright again, Ryan put me between a choice of him or Danh. So I hurt him again and then he left me for real. Leaving me with no more than that goodbye letter I still haven't forgotten about. It's been 5 years ago when we dated lol I was silly 15.
I dont even know if you check this email but...
Monika,
Those word LOVE FOREVER stayed with me. You probably will never understand me nor if I will ever understand myself. Just let me suffer and you please take care. Whoever does find you he is a very very lucky young man...
These are my last words to you ~ "Deep in my heart...You will always have a place...." ~
and lastly...Thank You
However stupid I might've been at that time, I guess with age and several experiences you can put a finger at the person whos love was most sincere and pure. If I were to make a chart it would be 1.Danh 2.Tomi 3.Ryan.
Ryan also held out for quite a long time. It's been like he had a 6th sense linked towards me, for he always appeared when I was sad. And all I did was torturing him with how the guy I left him for treats me bad, he's been waiting for when I break up with Fan and many times we did, he still wanted me to return. Now that it's really over he's gone. And also I don't think I could return to him after what I've done to him.
Also what's interesting is that each of these men have completely different personalities, which means I'm quite adaptable. For Danh was very very funny and loyal. Tomi got me head over heels with his eyes and erm...call it passion and optimism. And Ryan was the biggest sweetheart I ever met. So if I can combine these 3 men up into one... I would get the ultimate guy I want to spend my life with. Sadly such a man doesn't exist so I should stop my blabbering and go do something about my free time.
Also I have one song reserved for each of the guys I had longer or deeper relationships with. Whichever you see playing, you can guess whos on my mind.
So for Danh: Angela Zhang and Wilbur Pan - Kuai Le Chong Bai
Cause it's the last song I got from him, before he disappeared. And I always held this one as one to remember Danh.
For Tomi it would be: Se7en - Ari No Mama
Actually all the songs from Se7en are memories of him, since I always thought he resembles.
For Ryan it's: Marc Antoine - Tant Besoin De Toi (I have always needed you)
Cause it's the first song he ever gave me and the song is just as sweet as he was.
And lasty the one I chose to be Fans: Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway (or in our case, not at all anymore)
Simply cause of the implications of a far relationship and how it can be conquered if both try hard enough. (Fail)
