Hmm hi again. I wonder if it's possible to become disgusted with the whole male race. Cause I just find all of the guys (and honestly since the past ten months, I could have at least *counts* 6 of them) disgusting right now. They're creeping me out, I don't find them attractive at all. I just don't want to be around them, don't want to talk to them. They bore me. I feel sick if anyone starts giving me compliments. I think they're all fake. They lie. They're unnecesarry. I can be on my own. I also prolly will. I'm fine alone. All alone lol. Who would think so. Me who was depressed over the lack of company. I actually am depressed by all the attention they give me. They ruin the game. They're hasty and try to hurry it up. I felt happy until I was writting with this guy today. He's so damn boring. He's also fish from zodiac, he's just BORING! Geez... sigh. -_-' Is it possible to feel sick to your heart lol? If yes then I do. Feels contamined with disgust and hatred. Mostly disgust. -_-' Oh well, I'm more happy from my work than male attention. It just serves to boost my ego.

Hi again dear blog! I just have to share this with you! I just did the most awesome and the most inexpensive shopping ever! Got an awesome new make up Dermacol Filmstudio Barrandow Praque Make-Up Cover, it's waterproof, has SPF30 is hypoallergenic, it's absolute full coverage, it's the right pale shade for my skin and it cost me...... whole....... 4,61Euro -.-' wtf... Never switching this make up again. Ok, I just really had to share this. Unbelievable how much money i wasted for bad make ups in the past when czechs do a proper make up, of the quality of high class brands for just silly 4,61Euro -.-'''

Also the weather finally cooled off. It's a nice 23grades today with strong (but not cold) wind. Absolutely awesome chilly weather after all the hot days in the past week! Well o.o I guess I quit my rambling here lol. Bbyes

Hi again dear blog~ Guess what I just took myself and went out at 11pm with Adam for some Kofola (in my case Caffee Latte) and we talked in a pub outside till 00:30am then went to McCafe for cake and chocolate till 1am and just talked about stuff. Was really nice since the weather is cooling off. And I feel a lot more sane right now. To be honest I don't know what to think about what happened. I don't know if I should think that it was my imagination if the guy isn't there in the morning anymore. I will check again around 5am or so when the sunlight is clear and I can see stuff again. I don't know what I'll do when I see him either...Maybe it was just some object looking similar to a person, with my bad eyesight and headache at that time maybe I didn't see correct. In any case I never thought I would have to deal with thinking I have hallucinations this young. I don't know what to think about dad not seeying the person, when I saw him clearly. If it's there till the morning and my parents see nothing again I think I go check my health as soon as possible. I definitely don't want to end up being psycho in my early twenties. Althought I dunnoe how to explain this happening to me. I was actually being really calm and happy lately. Maybe I was supressing too much stress? Maybe sadness? Maybe heat stroke? Or fatamorgana? I don't know really, it's been freakish. Althrough I don't feel scared in my room, but I am scared to go look again and see if it's there or not... I plan on gripping to reality anyway. Geez I know I have been talking about dying a lot and how life is worthless cause nothing good been happening to me, but really God no need to send me ghosts and hallucinations to send me to grave earlier. In a way I love life and I want to see what else it has in store for me ~.~ Please God just let it be come object looking like a man from a far... please. Or I have to deal with dead people and ghosts or hallucinations. I don't want to. Also I'm all alone on this. Even the only person I thought I could tell about this without them declaring me for blind or stupid made jokes about it. Thanks Fan, really didn't help. In times like this you see who's worth your time and whos not. Do i have to crawl over and beat the shit out of some stalker pervert peeking into my room? -_-' Where is my baseball bat... sigh...