Good evening... Ok well today is a complete fiasco...Not feeling happy at all anymore right now... And the headache doesn't help much sigh. Don't know why I can't be happy today. I had things to say to Fan too lol and he came and left again. So great, mood gone for real, shouldn't have missed him even tho I haven't waited, still. Didn't even thank for the song, just didn't feel like saying such. That guy just goes from Poland to parties and in a great mood I assume. It doesn't do me well to see how not bothered he is by anything even tho I myself was not bothered the past days. And I need to use a soap and clean my head, those images running through aren't helping at all. Like really what good does it do me to think that he has a great frame lol, understand broad shoulders. No good at all. And this stupid hiccups since yesterday, either someone is really thinking about me or... Ok prolly no one thinking about me, it's just me thinking to myself who I would like to think of me since I got hiccups last night at 00:40am and tonight as well. Thank god I have no credit on my phone...Or I would prolly be sending smses out by now. Like this I can't and it's not really bad. It's hard to lead life alone, knowing that if something goes wrong it's still only you. I feel so uninspired to send application letter to my new school as well now. I don't want to study really, I wanted to finish it for someone. I see no sense doing it for myself really right now. Well...hopefully I feel better tomorrow. I thought I detached myself already, guess it's not that easily done in this case. It's funny tho, I have been doubting that relationship the whole time it lasted cause I never felt really in love with butterflies in stomach and whatever. But guess I really did love him more than I thought. They don't say for nothing 'You don't know what you have until you loose it'.
Well I think I head bed slowly, no point staying awake when I feel bad and have a headache.
G'nite~
PS: Did I mention it's 13th? =| And also did I mention I had written in my diary "13th June 1 year 2 months"? Just didn't expect any break up so I wrote it before hand and oh my how that little note torments me when I just want to look up when I work this week... -__-"
