God please tell me why I feel so unhappy with no real reason to zzz. I even DREAM about being caged up and then I wake up in panic...What the hell... =.= Why can't I make ONE proper decision in my life... I will be really tossing coins and forbidding myself to even loose a thought about it. I seriously really hate my trace of thoughts. My mind is full of doubts, I doubt EVERYTHING I think. It's really impossible to go through life with such unstable mind. Like I decided that I want to get rid of this new stalker of mine, but then there is always this back thought that he can be a really nice guy if I give him a chance. The last time I gave someone a chance when I wasn't really in love with them is almost 1year and 2months ago. He did become a nice guy to date when I gave him the chance, one way or another, but our relationship was unhappy and ended with a fiasco. And on the other hand I don't want to date a 28 year old guy, whos obsesses with war and cars, who doesn't really know what anime is (which is a great deal of my personality and life), he can't speak any english as far as I know (and most of my life is enfolding in english) and I don't even really like his looks. Or how desperate he seems to get me... It's supposed to be a game eh, he should know how to deal the cards slowly to make the girl interested and wanting to see what's gonna be next. End of story. Just decide you stupid Monika. You can't never be with a guy, who knows nothing about anime or audition. Who can't speak english fluently and someone who you don't like from his appearance. Plus the person might throw you compliments at each step but he has no charm what so ever. Delete + block. END OF STORY!