Hi dear blog again.

Today in work...Actually I'm not sure I want to be here. Maybe I want to, at least I'm not sitting at home crying my eyes out like yesterday. Maybe it can distract me a bit. Don't think it can really. I'll just sit here silently and suffer while maintaining a nice voice with customers. Maybe I should be here 24/7. Maybe I should waste all my holidays and stay at home eating chocolate and watching some sad films.

Maybe I should delete & block him and forget about his existence or should I try to stay friend with him? The worst part is that I can't imagine being with anyone else. Guess that prevents me from starting to just date some guy from work right away.

Everyone is just saying I should completely forget him or that they would like to punch him awake, if he has no mind of his own, that the only thing that makes him a man is his d**k and that if he just gives up 1year of relationship like that. And the facts are I should forget him, someone should punch him awake when he can't value love, no he has no mind of his own he's the dog of his mom, sometimes not even that part of his body makes him a man and yes, he give up 1year of relationship just like that.

At least I restrained from bashing him on Facebook, like Dany does with his ex-gf. Don't want to lower myself on that kind of level. Or on the level of giving away all the secrets I know about him as revenge for how he broke my trust just like that. Best part is that it took him one whole hour to decide that his mom is right and broke up with me. Didn't even try to change her mind or talk with her a second time or wait a bit if she cools down. I actually don't even know what he told her about me and what she said about me.

But I will still lower myself on the level where I wish him to suffer real bad from his consciousness, where I wish him to be goddamn unhappy just as I am and where I wish him that he hopefully NEVER find any girl. Won't find any that would be better to him than me anyway, I did goddamn everything for him, I forgave him all the lies he fed me and I coped with his weird taste on things. And this is what I get for it. I don't deserve this.

But most of all I wish I can just not love him anymore for what he did and just hate him without feeling regret or sorry at all. That's about it.

So bye