Everything is too easy these days

Hmm I actually came to blog without having anything in mind that I could write. I have been only at home the last days, since I was sick so my whole days resolved around my pc. Finding it kinda sad. Being locked up at home all days long with nothing to do, but relaxing. It makes me very bored and kinda dependent of the people I talk to online. And so it comes that the last two days I have been having some arguments. Since other people have their lives and mine is pretty much down to zero due to this sickness. It's another thing I shouldn't be writing here about, because it's personal too. Maybe it's not such a good idea to keep this blog public, it doesn't serve its purpose as a diary this way, because there r a lot of things I don't wanna announce to everyone who might stumble upon this link. Maybe I need to open another 'diary', a paper one where I can write out everything that I can't write here. I'm a lot better now, so I actually might go to buy smth in a few hours. Sometimes I feel like such a burden to the people around me. Having only few friends, makes me very dependent on them. And since I don't even meet a lot with my friends recently I sure bothered my bf a lot. I don't rly wanna argue. People who know me for a longer time know that it takes a lot more to make me angry in real than it does over internet. It's rly a big difference. Internet makes everything a lot easier. No need for radio, television u can listen or watch those both on ur pc. No need to be renting/buying movies or CDs, u can download anything you want. No need to call your friends, you only need to wait till they sign on MSN/ICQ/Facebook/Skype...anything. It's also very easy to blame someone when you don't have to look at them. Very easy to break up, when you're safely at home and alone with urself. Very easy to say ugly things without feelings guilty since you don't see any hurt expression in front of you. It's also very easy to mistake what the other person wanted to say, misinterpretate thjavascript:void(0)eir words, because u cant hear the tone of their voice while their saying it. Internet makes rly everything a lot easier. And it makes me a lot worser person than I really am in real. I don't rmb since I started being like this. I used to be the same over internet as I was in real as well. I guess over the years u spend over ur computer u start putting too much meaning into what happens online only. In a way it's a normal conversation your having over MSN just the same you could have in real with the person too. It's fine for normal topics. But I guess some topics shouldn't be discussed over online. But I don't think I could repeat all the hurtfull thing's I wrote to my boyfriend to his face in real. I myself became too spoiled with internet, crossing the line of what should stay off of online world. But I assume it's also not easy for all the ppl who have a far relationship. To not take online matter too personal, since most of the time is online. It's not real through. In most cases you can't tell anything about the person from just what they appear to you like online. Thing's should be only judged from what happens between 4 eyes. Yet I know myself, I probably won't stick to my own words.

I didn't know what I would write when I came here. I wonder if I will ever read the rubbish I just now wrote.