Good evening. Once again have nothing else to do. And seriously not in mood right now. Not even Michal is online so I can help him with the absinth again. Finishing the vodka will have to do for tonight... Ah where did my optimism go... probably drowned somewhere between looking at pictures and reading old diary. And memories. Sigh bleh I forgot how disgusting pure alcohol is. Sigh long after sunset I don't feel the need for forcing myself to be happy. I rather just finaly goddamn cry again and curl in bed. I'm not gonna think anything out anyway. No matter how long I think if I should get over or keep persuading him. There is just no way out of this situation =| I be either way unhappy. It's really pissing me off. From what he looked before I made what he looks like now. Piece by piece. And that awfull ex-gf of his. It's really utterly depressing that THAT woman got accepted and I don't... Why the hell do these things happen to me? Who did I do so wrong that people keep hurting me...It's all just too depressing. I don't know why I want him so much when he doesn't have the characteristics I always wanted my bfs to have. The things I liked about his personality are a double side blade. They apply to the person closest to him at the moment. Just wish to die eh...