Dear blog...I can't sleep again. Maybe it's cause I already slept from 8pm till 1am...maybe it's cause my head is full with thoughts. I... guess 3months of being single was enough. I really do need that type of closeness again, just really slowly need to resort it from one source to another. There are still many images burned inside of my mind of my past...a lot of what's already been. I have only this much strenght to wait for roughly 3months. Tomorrow... I guess I can make it dramatic and see if one of the shooting stars grants me my wish... Maybe it's gonna be better than I thought. He knows what hes going into with me. I never had a guy admire me this much, accept me the way I am with the mistakes I made and deal with my past. I will see if I can get past appearances and make the best out of it. I'm actually scared... I didn't have a boyfriend in real for 3 years? ... It's so long ago. I'm also excited through... but still scared. Give another man the power to do the same thing to me that happened the last time. Sigh...I can't show this to him ever. Feels like I plan on using him to get me through this. Not that he didn't offer it more than willingly... Sounds so unromantic... I prolly didn't think the same tho when I took that rose from him.